OH. YES. I. DID
Hearing constructive criticism feels awful.
It doesn’t matter if you ask for it, if it’s well deserved, or if it’s of the smallest detail. It never feels good to hear your hard work criticized, because you did in fact work hard. I read a quote by Norman Vincent Peale recently that really resonated with me, “The trouble with most of us is we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.” Hm…you’re telling me that it is so unbearable to hear that you made a mistake or that there is room for improvement that you would rather fail…
You’re damn right Louis CK!
If you are NEVER criticized, how in the hell do you expect to get any better?
As weird as it sounds, listening to the “bad” things people tell you can actually turn into something incredibly good! Do you think no one ever criticized Beyonce? I’m sure now they are more hesitant, but Beyonce sure as hell didn’t become Beyonce without a little constructive criticism…
So, not only did she get criticized, but on national television no less? AND it looks like she also lost a “who wore it better” contest. Damn, Beyonce. But, because of listening to that constructive criticism from those “Star Search” judges..DAYYYYYYYYUM BEYONCE! SLAY!
Speaking of constructive criticism, I actually received some immediately following my first blog…from my DAD!
Which brings me to my next point, in my opinion it’s more difficult to hear these things from your closest family and friends. But they want to tell you first to help save you from any heartache. They are saying this with love, try to listen knowing that. Wouldn’t you rather be a little butt hurt with the truth, than comforted with a lie?
But, there are always those that take it just a little too far.
Sometimes people approach this constructive criticism the wrong way, and it becomes destructive. These are the people that may have ruined how we take criticism in the first place. Telling me I suck isn’t constructive, it’s just criticism. It’s important to know the difference between someone that is just being mean and someone who is actually trying to help you and that we don’t confuse the two.
Embrace the help of those who have your best interest at heart and kill with kindness those who are trying to dim your light…
So now that we know the difference between those who want to help us and those who want to hurt us, let’s move on to asking for this very helpful constructive criticism shall we? If you are really interested in being successful, you won’t be shy about asking for help to get there. Unless you think you’re perfect, which you’re not…but hey if you think you are, good luck with that…
I watched a Ted Talk recently by Kathryn Shulz where she said something that really hit me, ” Trusting too much in the feeling of being on the correct side of anything can be very dangerous.” It can be dangerous for that person as well as everyone around them. It’s important to be confident, but be realistic also.
An example of asking for help to get better, is me asking my husband to proofread my blogs before I post them…
I remember when he first pointed out the flaws in my writing, it was slightly devastating. I certainly knew there were mistakes, but I immediately felt upset because I thought my mistakes took away from the message I had worked to hard to relay. But I quickly understood that he only wanted to help make it the best it could possibly be, and I thank god for his proofreading..trust me! But that doesn’t mean there will never be a mistake in my blog posts…
Great, we discussed the importance of asking for help! This may be something you want to work on, or you may be someone who has no fear of asking for help or advice. If you are one of those people, also ask yourself this…
Don’t be an Askhole.
This does not mean that you always to have to take someones advice, but you should try it every once in a while. Those who give you advice are looking out from an outsiders perspective, it could help. If you get stuck thinking your way is always the best, you will drown. Remember the definition of insanity? I mentioned it before…
Try a different way and get a different result!
Maybe this new way is risky and something you wouldn’t normally do. But without risk there is no reward right? In my experience, it can be disastrous to go through life worrying you will make a mistake. Mistakes are how we grow and become better, let go of that fear and welcome the mistakes as well as people helping you find them!
Take my advice, listen to the constructive criticism people give you. Figure out if it is helpful or hurtful and use it wisely. Do you think when Eminem got booed off stage he went home and cried in his moms spaghetti? NOPE! Do you think when Walt Disney was fired from a newspaper for lacking imagination he threw in the towel? NOPE! Do you think when Drexel University denied me the first time for acceptance into their school I gave up on getting my degree? NOPE! I called and got advice on how to improve to get in, worked it out, tried again…and boom…I got accepted. I’m not nearly on the level as the other two examples, but you get the point 🙂
Do it for yourself. Do it for those who are watching you, lead by example. Show them how you don’t get bitter, but get better!
I will leave you with these powerful words written by a brilliant man….
“Don’t stop, get it, get it!”